Triple update today, so if you scroll down you’ll find two more articles. I’ve actually been working on four articles in bits and pieces, which is why it’s been so long since the last update. I have also made a decision to go ahead and make individual articles about every HUSTLE show, explaining angles, comedy spots and more. I would probably have had the first one done if the guy who is hooking me up with the early HUSTLE shows I’m missing had done it two months ago like he said he would. What makes things worse is that I promised to get it from him to help the dude out. Never forget the thirty-second Florekian Law – no good deed goes unpunished. It’s not like I couldn’t have bought them from someone else.

Moving on. It figures that as soon as I write an article talking about why steroids suck and general training strategies to use to get around needed them, Lance Storm beats me to the punch on both counts and does an awesome job at it. So if you need any advice on training, read this:

http://www.stormwrestling.com/workout.html

While most of what he says is dead on for most people, I have had success with some slightly different strategies. Instead of using supplements, I have found that I get the same benefit from using hypnosis. I’ve also tried doubling hypnosis and supplements and that didn’t give any extra benefit, so if you’re smart enough to be hypnotized (which should be a given if you’re smart enough to read) that may work for you. Results with hypnosis vary from individual to individual, and believing that it will work for you is half the battle, along with doing nothing while listening everyday for at least 28 days. Get in touch if you have any specific questions and/or need the hookup.

I’ve used this technique to lose fat mass, and it may work for you. For my eating habits, I have either ramen or soba for breakfast, black sesame dessert (not really a dessert, it’s a black sesame paste most Asian grocery stores sell) with some soy milk or soy beverage for lunch and two cups of rice (cooked) with soy sauce for dinner. If I get hungry during the day I drink tea to alleviate the hunger and temptation of a fatty delicious snack. I eat that six days/week, and one day each week I go to an all-you-can-eat Chinese joint and stuff myself silly. Not only does it make the dieting bearable, but since you’re not getting a lot of what your body needs, it wouldn’t be healthy to do that all of the time. I also take ginko biloba when dieting, as it seems to give me extra energy.

Don’t get exciting yet, because here comes the bad part. While sticking to that diet, I also do 90 minutes of Stairmaster (set to high levels of resistance) or ski machine set to high inclines. Everyday. I burn anywhere from 1500-2000 calories per day doing this, while no matter how fast I peddle I can’t even burn 500 in the same amount of time on an exercise bike. The next best part is that I never take a day off. While there are good reasons behind only doing cardio six days/week, I find that taking a day off gives me extra free time, and makes me want to have that extra free time everyday, thus making me lazy and more likely to skip. The problem gets even worse if you don’t have a set day that you take off. Telling yourself you’ll do double the next day is also a lie, and we both know it. Trust me, it never happens. If you can have a rest day without it slowly turning you into a sloth go for it, but it’s not for me.

If all of the people who have died from steroid use doesn’t convince you to stay away, read this:

http://www.stormwrestling.com/080505.html

That should just about cover everything. If you need advice on anything else feel free to drop me a line. If I don’t know the answer I should at least be able to point you in the right direction.

It's no secret that Rikio's reign has been a disaster as far as getting him over as the star he needs to be. Now, Misawa has his back up against the wall and is doing what he always does when in doubt, putting himself in the main event. This could be a short-term fix, but the long-term headliner problem is still there. I offer this solution, which will allow Misawa to avoid having to make a new star, will create three new ones before all is said and done and will still allow him to use his own warped sense of booking. If anyone from the NOAH office is reading this, feel free to use it. After you make money off of it and don't know what to do next, we'll talk about getting me on the payroll.

If Misawa was smart (and we all know he's not) he would get Josh Barnett's phone number and talk him into double crossing New Japan. It's not like New Japan has done anything to repay the loyalty he has showed them since signing there. Now with Josh Barnett shooting all over NJ in the Gong his NJ burial and loss to Cro Cop are gone. He is now a hot commodity right back on the main event level he should be, having shoot "baby that got fucked by the promoter" heat. That is a bandwagon that is easy to jump on. WCW blew it with Hart. WWE blew it with Hardy. NJ would blow it with Barnett, if he’ll even work for them anymore. This is how NOAH can avoid those mistakes.

You may think that this could have dire consequences for Josh, but I don't think so. Any MMA company would be thrilled to book him, because he is a good fighter, charismatic and draws. New Japan already has enough of a PR disaster on their hands after his shoot interview, as it's publicly known that New Japan treats him like a third-class citizen. If they take legal action against him trying to earn a payday, they'll have an even bigger headache considered how they've handled him. He has been nothing but loyal and patient, and is repaid by finding out about his career on puroresupower.com. Like a mark. You may also consider the yakuza a threat to Josh's life. However, not from New Japan. NJ runs the Tokyo Dome to eliminate yakuza ties, and I can guarantee the ties they still have would not off Barnett, because they are Josh Barnett marks. The yakuza have much more influence over NOAH than NJ these days.

At present we have a GHC Champion that is not over, for a variety of reasons. Misawa did build not him up, he has no charisma, has the superstar look of Shockmaster, etc. etc. He's a good worker, but being a good worker does not make you over as a headliner with 90% of the fanbase (even in Japan), a good champion or put asses in seats. When you look at the guy who have drawn it's been people who can work, have charisma and usually have a look. Inoki, Vader, Baba, Mutoh, Hansen, Chono and Rikidozan all fit this model. The fact that there was no kayfabe build to his title win puts all of the emphasis on his flaws and away from his ringwork. I think we can all agree that Misawa has no idea how to make stars. It’s downright disturbing considering how brilliantly Baba got him over.

But this is all the more reason to bring in Barnett. Misawa CAN book guys who are already over into situations where they can draw money (usually against him). The Vader vs. Misawa and Vader vs. Kobashi series were booked well, because Misawa had the luxury of not needing to get Vader over. He was already one of the biggest gaijin stars Japan had ever seen. The same will be true with Josh Barnett. As former UFC Champion and King of Pancrase he has all of the credibility you could ever want. And in a time of MMA beating wrestling at the box office, he is a shootfight success that chose the art of professional wrestling over the sport of fighting. This will help NOAH get back the important magazine space they have been losing to HUSTLE and PRIDE. Magazines don't mean anything in the states, but they are huge in Japan. To the point that Michinoku Pro used to run all of their angles exclusively in the magazines. Misawa has been good at using the magazines in the past.

Where is all of the buildup going? Misawa will call a press conference and announce that at NOAH's 8/19 Shiny Navigation show a huge surprise is trying to get into NOAH. This person will fight Taue Akira, a proven veteran with a kayfabe track record still getting a far bigger push than he should. If the surprise wins, he will get his wish and have a contract with NOAH. Also note that it will be better than one of New Japan's X surprises, which are only surprises because no one would pay to see it if they knew what it was up front. 8/19 rolls around and it's main event time. Taue enters the ring, the lights go down and it's time for the mystery opponent, who to the shock of no one with a brain, is Josh Barnett. Barnett spends a good 10 minutes tearing Taue appart and gets the submission. He grabs the mic, and says something to the effect that New Japan is the King of Assholes and now that he has arrived NOAH is the new King of Sports. Have him do it in Japanese for good measure, he should be able to memorize a sentence or two.

All of the cards get shuffled to accommodate Barnett's new status as a full time employee. He tears through the entire midcard, getting pins and submissions over everyone not in the main event picture. This brings up controversy as to whether Misawa is really the number one contender, which brings up "shoot" interview number 2.

Barnett demands a title shot at a press conference and Misawa basically tells him to go to hell. He wants a shot at the belt and because he's the boss he gets his way. Josh conducts a second interview with Jimmy Suzuki and "exposes" the fact that Misawa is a racist prick who buries the gaijins, says that he refused to let Kawada come to NOAH before because of the petty high school differences and that's why he still won't put him over and the like. Obviously, Misawa doesn't like the "truth" (which really is true, although being portrayed as half-angle half-shoot) coming out, and orders Barnett to wrestle him. Barnett gets the ante upped to having Misawa's shot at Rikio on the line. When the match goes down, Josh squeaks out the win and gets the shot on 9/18, having more momentum than anyone ever thought possible.

Obviously, Rikio gets his ass kicked. He's not over and is about as damaging to belt as Ogawa was. To fuel Misawa's ego Barnett will squash him like he did Taue, so Misawa looks stronger than the former champ from having a competitive match with Barnett. Barnett's ego starts to swell, and proclaims that Misawa will have to bring in outsiders for him to defend the belt against, because no one in NOAH is worthy.

While this goes on, Morishima does not do a single job, and grows more and more agitated with an MMA outsider getting the opportunity to succeed and even more so because he is succeeding. Morishima wants to remove the "taint" of a fighter and a gaijin from the GHC, but Barnett won't face him because he isn't good enough. In attempt to prove him wrong, Morishima and Rikio win the GHC Tag Titles, and both demand shots at Barnett.

During the next few tours Misawa brings in outsiders for Barnett to defend against. He gets clean wins of over Sasaki, Kawada and Tenryu, further fueling his ego. The whole time Wild II are on a tear, beating every team in the company worth anything, and are both demanding the opportunity to bring the belt home. Not liking what he hears, Barnett becomes paranoid and decides to find a partner to take the titles away from Rikio and Morishima so he can get back to being better than everyone in NOAH.

A mid level show is headlined by Gladiator and Barnett vs. the champs for the belts. Barnett still has no problems with Rikio, but gets many scares from Morishima, who fights him evenly and eventually gets the advantage. Gladiator eventually pins Morishima for the belts after three Running Awesome Bombs and a splash off the top. Barnett and Gladiator rejoice.

But all is not well in the world, as Misawa has decided that Morishima is the number one contender after having such a strong showing against Barnett. He's obviously furious, and has a tantrum (expecting to defend against another outsider) at the press conference before walking out with the belts.

Barnett and Gladiator pull as many sneak attacks as they can before the match, with Gladiator doing most of the attacking and Barnett being more concerned with the camera and the fans. When the match comes around all of the heat is on Morishima as he owes Barnett in a big way.

When it goes down Morishima beats Barnett for the belt, all is right with the world, and Morishima has been built properly for a run with the belt, and has a feud with Barnett and Gladiator that can carry the main events for the next 6 months.

Josh Barnett is the hottest commodity in puroresu right now, but heat generated from this kind of situation will not last forever, no matter how well the angle is booked. Having Barnett be everyone's hero and having the love of the fans go to his head is a perfect way to keep him over once that steam runs out, and will please Misawa since gaijins have to be heels. Obviously his heat would last longer than this, but I’m compensating for Misawa’s willingness to let a gaijin be a main event baby. Gladiator had drawing power headlining in FMW, and could have believably beaten Kobashi for the GHC in December (and probably should have). He's a good enough worker, and with a proper push they can get main events out of him without having to fully make another star. Misawa is still lurking around for another match with Barnett, where he will obviously get his win back, because he won’t have it any other way. Rikio failed headlining for now, so he gives whatever rub he can to Morishima in the tag title run and will hang limbo for the next year or two before the company will have a spot to build him back up. By my count, that makes three new headliners in less than a year for a company that desperately needs them. Let's see if Misawa can make one on his own.

I’m going to tackle another question that comes up every so often so the next time someone asks it I can just paste a link. Like the HUSTLE article, this is not comprehensive of everything there is to know, but just an introduction into some of the basics. If you want to a complete answer spends thousands of dollars going to every camp anyone with credibility offers and work for 20 or 30 years and you’ll get close to answer. Today’s question – ring psychology, what is it? To use the old cliché it is the art of telling a story in the ring. If you don’t think this matters, you are probably a backyard wrestler, fan of backyard wrestling, fan of lucha libre, lucha worker or all four.

To know what psychology is not all you have to do is watch 99% of what comes out of Mexico, because there is no psychology in it whatsoever. Mexican rules are actually designed to eliminate psychology. For example, one of the most basic elements of psychology in a tag match is getting heat on one of the babies so he can make a hot tag. The Little Engine That Could hanging on no matter what is a simple story to tell, and made the Rock & Roll Express. But in Mexico, there is no way to build that kind of heat on a worker. Everything is so fast paced as you move from one highspot to another that there isn’t enough time to sell, let alone tell a story as simple as face-in-peril. The rules are designed to avoid having to do pesky things like telling a story or have a match make sense. If your number two babyface is getting his proverbial shit pushed in, all he has to do is roll out of the ring and your top baby can just jump in the ring and hit the next nonsensical highspot. Or he can just jump in the ring without a tag while the legal man is still in the ring and save the day, because I’ve never actually seen a ref stop anyone from doing it. I hope you’re taking notes, because that’s how you pay off fans’ emotional investment.

That is not to say that you cannot have ring psychology in a fast paced match that is built around highspots. On the contrary, the best spotfests plan their spots out to tell a story and do them in a specific order to get that story across to the audience. The first Ultimate X match TNA did took this concept and did it to perfection. They had the luxury of doing a gimmick match which had never been done before, so they were able to tell the story of a struggle to determine how to win the match. They tried jumping for the belt, climbing ladders and various other tactics to get the belt, before the realization was made that the only way to get high enough to reach the belt would be to climb across the cable that was holding it in the air. Each spot done in the match built up that concept until the payoff. People who claim that match had no psychology have obviously never taken a bump in their lives, and have no idea what ring psychology is supposed to accomplish.

A story can be told in the ring in many ways. Some of the biggest criticism against Bret Hart and Ric Flair is that they both only had “one” match that they did. For Bret, it was using the Five Moves of Doom to build to the Sharpshooter finish, for Flair it was sell, work over the knee, sell some more, do the Flair Flop a couple times, make a comeback and hit the figure four. Clearly, not every match either man had stuck to that formula, and I’m oversimplifying things to make my point. In both of those matches there is a definitive story that is being told in the ring. Bret softens up the knee, applies the sharpshooter and for one match the world is safe from evil. Flair brings everything he has, cheats when the opportunity presents itself, sells his ass off to keep the baby over but at the end of the day he’s such a great wrestler that combined with his willingness to cheat the odds are simply too great for anyone to overcome.

In Japan, the art of telling a story takes on many elements that it does not in the United States. For example, in the US about 99% of the time the psychology you use in a match is limited to that match. Every match starts from a clean slate, while in Japan that is not always the case, especially in long running feuds. All matches in the Misawa/Kawada series build on each other. This is harder to see in the clipped comm. tape, because they cut out psychology and focus on highspots. But it doesn’t end in huge feuds. Heels will attack injuries long after the worker has come back from the injury as a way of generating heel heat and furthering the story in the ring. You’ll sometimes see this in the states, but it usually limited to an injury that got a lot of TV attention, and it treated more like an angle than ring psychology. No one attacks Ric Flair’s back or Chris Benoit’s neck anymore.

Another Japan-only feature is the idea of Toukon (fighting spirit, some idiots misspell it as Toukan), which was what Strong Style was built on (note: when I say Strong Style I mean real Strong Style, as in the predominant style of New Japan pioneered by Inoki and others through the 70s and 80s. Just because Homicide and others think stiffing the crap out of someone for the hell of it is Strong Style does not make it so). In order to show Toukon, you don’t sell everything you’re hit with, and at times you “snap” and keep coming back no matter how much the other guy stiffs you, clearly struggling not to sell while doing so. According to Inoki, the only way to infused with Toukon is the have him slap the taste out of your mouth. While in wrestling it is used to show the character of one’s heart and used as a tool to get over, it is also a real energy harnessed by martial artists. It is relatively simple for people with great amounts of Toukon to become telekinetic, not that that relates to anything I’m talking about in the least bit.

Just because something is psychology doesn’t mean it is a productive use of the effort either. Arn Anderson is someone who used to use a lot of “wasted” psychology. He would spend 10 minutes systematically working over an arm, and then finish with a spinebuster. While the match was believable, and some might even say good or great, that 10 minutes of ring time spent working over the arm could have been used to get both guys over in a more productive fashion. It would be fine if it was part of a long term story, but all matches are independent of each other in America. Hypothetically, if the worker is going to be wrestling a most or all of the Horsemen, each time the arm gets worked over more and more and the finish is not related to the arm. During an interview or some other event that the Horsemen have no business at, they will jump him and shatter his arm with a chair/baseball bat/etc. AFTER he’s been beaten and broken to really rub it in. They can generate more heat on him by bragging about breaking the arm and not needing to exploit his bad arm to beat him 1-2-3. Since it’s half true, it will generate even more heat than a pure lie. All heels need to lie, and half lies are better than complete lies. But that’s getting into Booking 101 and away from ring psychology.

Something else that needs to be considered is timing – knowing when to do what in the ring. You can have the world’s first 6-star match, but if the timing is off it won’t make the emotion connection with the crowd that it should. Kevin Nash will openly admit that he only has three moves. However, knowing when to use each of those three moves is what has kept him on top. Just watch him deliver elbows or knee strikes in the corner. The pacing of his movement, the delay between strikes, the facial expressions setting up the next blow – he gets it. Kevin Nash is not everyone’s bottle of sake, but he knows his limitations and knows how to tell a story with what he has if he’s in the ring with someone who will work his pace. When you’ve only got three moves, every time you use one you have to make it count. Jeff Jarrett is another guy with phenomenal timing. He doesn’t have the moveset other guys have, but he pulls out the right moves at just the right times to keep you hooked in the match.

If you’re not convinced that timing is critically important, watch anything Bob Sapp has done. Bob Sapp has what is far and away the world’s worst sense of timing. Sapp’s ring work has a rushed feel, like he has to get his shit in during the next split-second before the guy he’s working decides to shoot on him. Let’s examine Muta vs. Sapp from WRESTLE-1, a match many consider to be the worst match of all time*. The general consensus is that Sapp was so terrible that Muta couldn’t carry him, although Sapp was the one actually in control of the match. And if you examine all of the moves Sapp used, for a big man power match it was perfectly acceptable, albeit a little short and bland for a main event. If you look at the order he did them in, it was mostly acceptable, especially for a guy as inexperienced as Sapp is. However, the timing on everything he did was absolutely horrible, and sucked everything positive right out of the match. If you’ve seen the match, you should know what I’m talking about. The same moves, in the same order, with Jeff Jarrett’s timing would have resulted in a match that was perfectly acceptable from a shooter the size of Bob Sapp who has serious cardio limitations.

There are other elements that intermingle with psychology that I may discuss in greater detail at a later time. That should answer most newbie questions, which is the main reason behind it. As always, if it sparks and new questions just drop me a line.


*These people did not see Bruce Banner vs. Spiderman, which took place at an indy show that will remain nameless because I’m not that evil. Spiderman beats Banner from pillar to post until it spills backstage and Banner turns into The Hulk (complete with ripped clothes and green body paint, Banner was also a skinny little bastard and the Hulk was very juiced up). After returning from the backstage area Hulk proceeds to squash Spiderman. On top of

I started doing this article awhile ago but it seemed that enough of my rambling on message boards had gotten the message out, so I never bothered finishing it. Apparently, that was not the case, as there are always new fans and people I keep running into that don’t really know what HUSTLE is all about, sore ja, Eddie-senshi iku ze!

First and foremost, if you know anything about HUSTLE and were going to ask if HUSTLE is a shoot, find a sharp object and stab yourself directly in the eye. Now.

HUSTLE is a polarizing concept. People tend to love HUSTLE or hate it, although those who understand the concept tend to bow before its greatness. In case you didn’t know, I radiate HUSTLE Love, although understand why people do not like the product and will explain that view. The concept is nearly impossible to summarize in a sentence, as it is so different as it exists now that there is nothing to compare it to. The argument that HUSTLE is destroying pro wrestling is moot, because HUSTLE isn’t wrestling, nor does it claim to be. HUSTLE is Fighting Oh-PEAR-uh. They spell it like opera though.

Why should you watch HUSTLE? You get a good mix of in ring action, for starters. There’s good junior action from Kaz Hayashi, Spanky, Flying Vampire XVI, HUSTLE Kamen Blue and Red, The Monster J (Sonjay Dutt), Dark Von Maestro I & II and others. You get some basic garbage involving chairs, tables, etc. from guys like Tanaka Masato, Kanemura Kintaro, The Monster C (Steve Corino) and more. Joshi gets representation too. Hamada Ayako shines as Arisin Z, hell, there’s a HUSTLE drink named after her, and HIKARU appears regularly. Shooters like Mark Coleman and Kevin Randleman make appearances. Dan Bobish is a regular. You get big names in high profile matches like Kawada Toshiaki, Ogawa Naoya, Ohtani Shinjiro and more. Almost all matches have doses of comedy in them to brighten your day. HUSTLE runs the craziest and most off-the-wall angles you will see anywhere, and they are highly entertaining 300% of the time. Not to mention the fact that Erotic Terrorist Yingling is HOT.

HUSTLE is hated by people who forget that professional wrestling is entertainment first and foremost. Even in Japan where there is a more realistic style, wrestling is still a form of predetermined entertainment, no different than any movie or non-reality TV show. The puroresu media has taken to HUSTLE, and it gets more press coverage in Japan than any other wrestling company, probably on par with PRIDE. Due to HUSTLE getting the space, this has caused New Japan, NOAH and others to lose some press coverage, which has caused bitterness. They don’t run tours either, running no more than 3 shows in a month, so every show they run gets a lot of hype in the media. HUSTLE also does terrible things like having promos cut in the ring on a regular basis, air vignettes during their shows and does not always place 110% of their focus on the in-ring action. While that doesn’t sell in puroresu (as WEW proved), it has shown itself to be very successful in Fighting Oh-PEAR-uh.

Criticism I will completely agree with: Rikishi sucks, and a fat guy shoving his sweaty ass in someone’s face is not funny nor entertaining in any way, shape or form. I fully concur, and if the HUSTLE fanbase was a little less American trashish he never would have gotten bookings there in the first place. He hasn’t been booked in awhile though, so maybe he’s done. We can pray. And Kanemura Kintaro’s stupid little “making right angles with my arms and then jumping up and down like a dumbass” thing is amazingly retarded. But that’s why DVD players have 50x fast forward.

During its inception, it appeared that HUSTLE would be DSE’s attempt to fill the void left when AJ and K-1 stopped doing WRESTLE-1. The way the business model was designed AJ was losing tons of money, even though the TV ratings were fantastic. WRESTLE-1 was built on a combination of current AJ stars, outside stars, legends and shootfighters. HUSTLE initially looked to be WRESTLE-1 run by DSE.

HUSTLE-1 took the world by storm on 1/4/04 at the Saitama Super Arena. The show continued WRESTLE-1’s pro wrestler vs. shootfighter feel as the main angle leading into the show was Chicken and Pork (Ogawa and Hashimoto, although they did not have those names yet) calling out Takada and everyone in PRIDE. The show was headlined by Chicken-kun taking on PRIDE boss Takada’s assassin, Goldberg.

Without explaining the entire evolution of the product, this is roughly where we are today. The heels (Team Takada Monster) are led by Generalissimo Takada, who is on a sacred mission to destroy professional wrestling and take over the world. He does a cosplay of Vega of Street Fighter fame (for some strange reason, many insist on calling him M. Bison, although it’s Vega. The names were changed in the US because Capcom thought Mike Tyson would sue them, because M. Bison was a blatant ripoff of Tyson). Takada’s promos are generally hilarious, and even though he gets massive heel heat during his entrances, he is so good on the stick that the crowd can’t help but pop for him. Example: at HUSTLE HOUSE he does a promo after the main event ripping Ogawa a new one. He gives him 60 points (out of 100) as a pro wrestler, saying that he’s a shitty worker. He then brings up Chicken losing to Fedor during a PRIDE fight in 54 seconds. He comments that he saw the whole fight on Mezamashi (a popular morning show in Japan, implying that the fight wasn’t important enough to watch live) and Ogawa embarrassed HUSTLE by getting his ass kicked. He gets 0 points as a shootfighter, and is suspended one day for every second he made pro wrestlers look weakest (and no, HUSTLE has not parodied ‘Pro Wrestlers Be Strongest’ yet). This incident leads to the creation of Team Takada Monster’s Russian 54 character.

Tadaka-soto’s second in command is HUSTLE’s most popular character, despite her heel status. She is none other than Erotic Terrorist Yingling. And she is SEXXXY. Unlike WWE divas, she can cut a promo too. Her main purpose is to poison the minds of Japan’s youth and draw then to Team Takada Monster’s cause. She does this with her M-Bitan pose, which is…uh…grinding on a podium. It rotates around and everyone takes pictures. Good stuff. Not only is she dripping with sex appeal and charisma, but she beat Chicken-kun clean in the middle during her wrestling debut. You may notice that she has a strange accent. That’s because she Taiwanese.

Other notable mentions of Team Takada Monster are An Jo (aka Mr. 300%) and Shimada Yuji. An Jo’s gimmick basically consists of throwing lots of English words into his promos, because English is cool. He also wears a mask that you’ve probably seen at Mardi Gras, which further adds to the hilarity. Shimada signed up with Team Takada Monster before it even officially existed. He was the referee for Ogawa vs. Goldberg at HUSTLE-1, and turned heel on Ogawa during the match. When Yingling debuted she abused the hell out of him with a cat-of-nine-tails at a press conference. His shirt still has the holes to prove it.

The backstage promos and vignettes Takada-soto, An Jo and Shimada are involved in are absolutely priceless. New gimmicks are created backstage, trash talked in uproarious fashion…Takada will even give his troops a power up by shooting lightning at them while using his catchphrase BITAN – which roughly translates as hocus pocus.

The baby team is the HUSTLE Army, led by Captain HUSTLE Ogawa Naoya, aka Chicken-kun. It isn’t just Soto that calls him that either, his tights clearly say “I’m Chicken” right on them. The HUSTLE Army exists to basically, do the HUSTLE, which is a pelvic thrust preceded by a 3-2-1 countdown.

There are many notable characters in the HUSTLE Army. Like the HUSTLE Kamens, for example. They’re your stereotypical sentai (think power rangers) ripoff superhero team. In accordance with sentai tradition, a fat guy and a girl were recently added to the team. There’s HUSTLE K Kawada Toshiaki, who wrestles in a Bruce Lee jumpsuit. Shockingly enough, he cuts a great promo. I never would have guessed he had it in him. Leonardo Spanky does his Zero-One gimmick, which is the Leonardo of Titanic fame. HUSTLE Nadeshiko Hikaru dresses like a baseball player and acts like a jock. The joke being that a nadeshiko is a traditional Japanese woman, of which she is the exact opposite. But she is the epitome of the tradition HUSTLE woman, or so we have been lead to believe. HUSTLE Achichi Ohtani Shinjiro is well…achichi. To emphasize just how hot (literally) he is, when he speaks his words are subtitled with flames coming off of them, and his skin is hot to the touch. He even melted a Snow Woman. Honest.

Great vignettes are not limited to Team Takada Monster either. During HUSTLE HOUSE Christmas Special Part 1, Spanky was not at the show to tag with Kaz Hayashi. The storyline excuse was that he had to spend Christmas with girlfriend. The WTF look on Kaz’s face when he hears this, followed by him stammering out “Sp…Spanky has a… girlfriend….Spanky?!?!” is absolutely priceless. Ishikari Taichi has been given a putzish gimmick, and Kawada always brutalizes him for it. Every HUSTLE show is filled with stuff like this. And that doesn’t even touch on the antics of NJPW. No, not New Japan, I’m talking about New Jersey Powerful Warrior.

But even this does not truly explain the wackiness of HUSTLE. For example, whenever The Monster C (Steve Corino) punches or kicks someone, the entire arena yells ‘C’ as loud as they can. You get a nice long “CCCCeeeeeeeeee” whenever he cranks a headlock, and somehow it never gets old. They also do similar calls for HUSTLE K, HUSTLE I (Ishikari), The Monster J and it has even spread to HUSTLE Rikishi and Kanemura Kintaro.

And what of the championships? There is no World Title in HUSTLE at this point, although there is the next best thing – HUSTLE Hardcore Hero. And there’s no wimpy belt for the champ. Oh no. The HHH champ has a huge baseball bat with spikes coming out of it. It’s “pure gold” too. I’m glad it’s not me footing the bill. Take a look. http://www.zerooneusa.com/hustle/images/31405_1.jpg

If all of that doesn’t sell a ticket to the next HUSTLE show, they also have the best merchandise on the face of the planet. For example, DSE decided to make money by creating HUSTLE brand instant curry. They have two flavors, chicken and pork. Oddly enough, Chicken has Ogawa’s picture on it, as Generalissimo named him Chicken, because he’s, well…chicken. Pork has Hashimoto Shinya’s picture on it, as Soto named him pork, because he eats a lot and gets fat. You know, like a pig. DSE proudly proclaimed they were going to make $2.8 million off of this, although never released actual sales figures. Additionally, there is HUSTLE drink. One of these is named after Arisin Z, and if I guessed right on the kanji I couldn’t read on hustlehustle.com, it is made out of her bodily fluids. It’s an energy drink that comes in a small vial, and she always flaunts them during her ring entrance. Nothing like shamelessly plugging your merch for a payday. But it’s involvement in HUSTLE doesn’t end there. Wherever someone drinks Arisin Z in the middle of a match they get a super power up 10 times that of Hogan Hulking Up. No one who ever drank Arisin Z before or during a match has ever lost. As an extra bonus you gain the Road Warrior’s no-selling power.

Is this everything there is to know about HUSTLE? No. If I were to explain everything there is to know about HUSTLE this article would be a book, not a blog entry. This is just supposed to serve as an introduction as to what it is, and hopefully it served that purpose for you. A few other HUSTLE resources are the official HUSTLE website – www.hustlehustle.com, the official American HUSTLE website – www.hustlehustle-usa.com, which hasn’t been updated since October because DSE cares so much, and an unofficial English website at http://zerooneusa.com/hustle - for some reason if you add a www. to it the site doesn’t always load, so be wary of that. It hasn’t been updated since HUSTLE HOUSE vol.6, although it does have a lot of information about the product which still applies, and it had good coverage of angles leading up to shows which will give you a better feel for the product.

Until next time, 3…2…1…MONSTER!

Every so often a situation so ridiculous comes along that people refer to the incident as something that could only happen in the wrestling business. We all know that there have been one or two of those in recent years, such as Brian Christopher’s recent banishment from Memphis TV. The wrestling business is usually good for a few such an incidents every year, and it’s something I can accept as part of the business. For the first time in my life, I had one of those experiences that should only be able to happen in wrestling happen somewhere else. I am referring to the recent attempts by politicians to destroy the sport of mixed martial arts based upon reasons which are baseless, and can be easily proven false by spending a few minutes with your favorite search engine, and/or applying a little common sense.

For those unfamiliar, there is currently a movement in Boston to ban MMA because it is dirty, disgusting, vile, brutal, etc. etc. To use a wrestling analogy, Bill Alphonso, doing the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission heel ref gimmick, is trying to shut down MMA, for reasons even less credible than disqualifying Tommy Dreamer for using a closed fist in a pro wrestling match.

While MMA is considered a young sport, it is by no means a new concept. It first existed in Greece, under the name pankration, only in Greece the rules were limited to no eye gouging and no biting. These fighters were adored by the populace and recognized as the finest athletes in the world. Alexander the Great recruited pankrationists for his army due to their incredible skill in unarmed combat. Hercules himself is believed to have been a pankration champion. Oddly enough, if you asked one of the opponents of MMA what you should be doing instead of watching MMA, they’d probably tell you to read something “sophisticated” that came from the same era that glorified these “monsters.”

Pro wrestling, before it became a work, was widely popular, considered to be offensive by no one, and was for all intents and purposes the most recent American ancestor of MMA. Part of the misconceptions about MMA could be blamed on the way SEG initially marketed it as a no holds barred anything-can-happen-even-death event, although anyone who had actually watched an event would have been taught by the announcers that rules were lax to allow people all of disciplines to use all of their techniques. You wouldn’t expect a wrestler to do well under Tae Kwon Do rules would you? It was a free and open forum to determine which styles of martial arts were the strongest. Today, the UFC is sanctioned, making it a “good, clean sport with actual rules.” Or so claims the evil UFC promoter Dana White, who would have you believe that MMA is not contra bonos mores. He is probably just trying to sucker the world into thinking that the UFC is not the lawless contest fought to the death we and the Boston media know it really is.

Something you will hear from MMA detractors with little or no knowledge of the sport is that the cage makes MMA more dangerous. This is one of the most ludicrous conclusions someone could possibly come to. We are not talking about a Hell in the Cell match. This is not the Elimination Chamber, with its 10 tons of steel and two miles of chain. In MMA the cage is rubber coated, so it is not even possible to use the cage as a weapon if one wanted to. It is safer than a ring because there is no chance of falling through the ropes to the floor, or getting one’s body tangled in those steel cables causing bodily harm (as in Mick Foley’s ear). The cage exists for the safety of the fighters, not to make the contest more violent. Don’t take my word for it, ask anyone who has fought in both and see which he prefers. I am honestly surprised that I have not yet seen a statement along these lines in a recent MMA smear piece: “The steel cage has been used for years in professional wrestling as the most brutal match wrestling has to offer. In one of these matches wrestler Menkind was thrown off the top of the cage twice, within the rules of the ‘contest,’ and suffered massive internal injuries. That is with only four sides of steel. Tits and Ass Wrestling brags about upping the ante with more brutality by introducing ‘Six Sides of Steel.’ Do we even want to imagine the repercussions of eight sides of steel?” Before someone at the Boston Herald seriously makes that argument, I was being sarcastic. Adding more “sides” of steel would not make it more dangerous, nor do I even know how it would be possible to logically come to such a conclusion. Not to mention the rubber coating which negates any danger from the steel.

Senator McCain has been one of the loudest anti-MMA voices around. I find it fascinating that he can condemn MMA as being bloodthirsty violence while he is a lifelong boxing fan that witnessed the death of Jimmy Garcia at ringside. Just imagine his reaction if I presented this new idea for a sport. The object of this sport is to punch your opponent in the head until he cannot stand up anymore. To make sure you don’t break your knuckles by hitting your opponent’s skull too hard, we’re going to pad your hands with large gloves to protect them. You win in the sport by beating your opponent so heavily that he cannot stand up after a 10 count, falls down three times over the course of a few minutes, or cannot intelligently defend himself. Most people would look at me like I am insane, but I have just described boxing.

How much damage is done to someone who wins a boxing match? Odds are that even in victory one takes at least 100 punches to the head assuming it is not a very fast fight. What happens in boxing when someone decides that it would be better to concede the victory today in order to remain strong tomorrow and avoid permanent injury? The same thing that happened to Roberto Duran – your career goes down the toilet. The stigma of being a “quitter” does not exist in MMA. When a fighter submits to avoid injury he is not looked down upon. If anything the opposite is true, and fighters that refuse to tap out are frowned upon. I remember a fight from early in Ken Shamrock’s career when he was fighting an opponent that refused to submit, even when it was obvious that he could not escape the hold he was in. The guy got a broken leg for his trouble, still lost the match, and was generally thought to be a buffoon by everyone who witnessed it.

During my time in Washington D.C. I had a friend who was a boxing enthusiast, and I worked out with him to learn a little boxing. I will not dispute that it takes great amounts of training and knowledge of the sport to be successful, but some of the basic “strategies” of the sport were immediate red flags to me that this is no good for my long term health. For instance, if you see a punch coming you can’t block, move your forehead into it. The logic is that it doesn’t hurt that much, and won’t cause you to lose like getting clocked in the jaw would. Getting hit in the head is a defensive strategy? That can’t be good for your brain cells.

How could MMA take a greater toll on you than that? If you’re concerned about your daughter’s health you should get her into MMA, as the fact of the matter is that more people are seriously injured and killed in cheerleading. Injuries like broken bones and muscle tears are less common than they are in baseball. There have been two deaths in the history of MMA compared to over 1,100 in boxing since 1900. Ironically, the first death in MMA occurred in Russia because the fighter could not get medical clearance to fight in America, and his death was caused by something you never see in boxing – blows to the head. The second was also an amateur fight, this time in South Korea, and the man died of a heart attack. The fact that it occurred during the fight was mere coincidence.

The Boston Herald described MMA as “Two people brawling in a caged octagon, kicking and punching until the broken bones, gashes and hyperextended limbs result in one or the other saying ‘No mas’ sounds like a nightmare, not a show and certainly not a sport.” I was unaware that MMA fights could only be won via broken bones, gashes and hyperextended limbs so I consulted The Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts Combat. It talks about five weigh classes, rounds, time limits, lists 31 fouls and gives 8 possible means of achieving victory. As you might expect, broken bones, gashes and hyperextended limbs were nowhere to be seen on the list of sanctioned methods of winning a fight.

Something else you may hear from the Herald and other like-minded publications is how MMA is responsible for the death of Stacy Young. While you can say her death was tragic, the MMA industry and Snitsky can say it together – it was not my fault. It’s no secret that I do not care what anyone else thinks, making me nearly impossible to offend, but I find blaming MMA for her death offensive. If you’re female, 240 pounds of cellulite and never fought before in your life what would posses you to enter a Toughman competition? (note: Toughman, MMA, not the same thing) But it doesn’t end there. She didn’t even have a physical done to make sure she was fit to compete. Because she entered at the last possible minute, her entry fee was waived to move the process along quicker, showing how much thought she put into it. Another brush with greatness. Entering a Toughman Contest is not something a mentally balanced human being does on a whim. People train for months to enter these events. Even Nagata Yuji pretends to train for a few weeks before he gets mauled in MMA.

Some say that striking an opponent on the ground is immoral or “un-American.” Others claim such a contest is in violation of their religious beliefs. Considering that America was founded upon Christian beliefs, as outlined in the Federalist Papers, I believe religion, morality and Americanism can all be addressed at the same time by looking back to history’s first MMA contest – Jacob vs. God in a no holds barred no time limit fight to the finish. No, I was not there to witness it firsthand, but Genesis 32 said it happened, and if Genesis is good enough for Christians, Jews and Muslims, it’s good enough for me. When all the dust had settled and all the smoke had cleared God blessed Jacob for his effort and for not tapping out when things start looking grim. A lesson many of us could do well to learn.

This does not even touch the issue of whether a city, county or state should even be permitted to stop a promoter from running a show in a venue willing to rent him the building. As an economist, I can prove (in a very geeky and time-consuming way) that stopping someone from producing a good or service (in this case, an MMA show) that people are willing to pay for is detrimental to the entire economy. Granted, one show would have a minimal impact on a state’s economy as a whole, but my concern lies with the principle. With some exceptions, say nuclear weapons, if an individual is willing to sell you something you want to buy at a price you are willing to pay, it’s none of the government’s business.

That sentiment appears throughout the Federalist Papers, which for those wondering, was written by people who wrote the Constitution explaining exactly what the Constitution means. For some reason, they are only a footnote in history and mostly ignored today, although the Constitution would not have been ratified without their existence. It was John Locke, who greatly influenced the drafting of those documents, that said the government exists to protect the property of its citizens, not to prevent its citizens from gaining more property by promoting or participating in MMA events.

Moreover, the Supreme Court agrees with these principles as a matter of law. It was written in the decision of Lawrence v. Texas that the American concept of liberty “presumes an autonomy of self that includes freedom of thought, belief, expression and certain intimate conduct.” As a matter of law, running MMA seems to fit that description. If that is insufficient, Justice Kennedy’s words on Romer v. Evans should seal the deal. “If the constitutional conception of ‘equal protection of the laws’ means anything, it must at the very least mean that a desire to harm a politically unpopular group cannot constitute a legitimate governmental interest.” Let’s see here, desire to harm politically unpopular group? Check. Constitutional concept of “equal protection of the laws” means something? Check. Shutting down MMA a legitimate government interest? I did not think so.

It should be noted that the view of MMA being an unacceptable, immoral and reprehensible form of entertainment is not a widely held belief, and attempts to shut it down in Boston or anywhere else are the actions of a loud minority that have a lot of power with a media that shares their views. 96% of those polled on SpikeTV’s airing of fights on television found it perfectly acceptable for cable television, saying it was either completely acceptable, or if one did not approve of the programming no one was forcing him to watch it. From where I am sitting, it is not MMA that is un-American, but the attempt of a loud and politically powerful minority to undermine the will of the vast majority that is un-American.

To end on a happy note, I would like to wish Josh Barnett a speedy recovery and let him know we all miss him. It is rare that you find a fighter that has such good taste in video games and manga. Not to mention one who knows what Kaiju Big Battle is. Like any sport injuries are part of the game, and Josh is paying the price his art takes on the body. We appreciate your sacrifice and look forward to the day that you can compete once again.

I have not written anything for a long time. Gomen. Lots of various things have taken the time I was planning on spending writing things here. But without further ado, I am back.

One topic that seems to come up from time to time is why Misawa Mitsuharu is such an unpopular figure among the English speaking smart crowd. After all, he is a fantastic worker. When talking about who is “the best of all time” in the ring his name always comes up among those in the highest echelon, in the same vein as Bach and Mozart are the highest echelon of composers. Who is the best? It’s art, so it’s subjective, but almost everyone agrees he belongs at the top. Beyond his talent in the ring, he was a key figure behind the scenes in All Japan for many years, and as AJ’s booker put many great cards together. If that wasn’t enough, he is the mastermind behind Pro Wrestling NOAH, a company built upon the concept of tearing the house down each and every night.

How could such a person possibly be bad? He seems to have no flaws whatsoever. Before he bulked up as a heavyweight, he could probably walk on water. Sadly, no one is as perfect as they appear to be on the surface. With the exception of myself, naturally ^_^

Everyone’s got to start somewhere, so I’ll begin with a discussion of his booking. Yes, Misawa has shown that he can put together a great show when he has a strong stable of established talent. He has also demonstrated time and time again that he does not have the slightest clue as to how to build new stars. For example, take Akiyama’s GHC title reign. Akiyama had been a top prospect for years, that just everyone assumed would one day be a strong headliner. Is he built up to be a great superstar on his way to the title? No, of course not. He wins the title with no fanfare going into the match. For an American equivalent, think of Jeff Jarrett’s rise to the main event scene in 2000. He was a very strong midcard wrestler, and very over, but not positioned anywhere near the world title. One day, for no apparent reason, he is in World Title matches and suddenly wins the World Title. People naturally don’t buy into Akiyama as a strong champion, because they haven’t been told to. When the people take a crap on him, Misawa blames Akiyama for not getting over, as though his booking had nothing to do with it. It’s obviously Akiyama’s fault.

His inability to build stars is even more apparent with Rikio. Like Akiyama, he won the GHC out of nowhere. Unlike Akiyama, it doesn’t seem like it Rikio’s shot on top had been coming. He may be good enough, but he had not been a complete package like Akiyama. Charisma and a look he has not. When a babyface champion is met with apathy when he wins the belt, and booed out of the building like his name was X-Pac during his first defense, there are only two possibilities. A, he either really sucks, the fans felt sorry for him as an midcarder and gave him some polite support, but seeing him with the belt is simply insulting and makes you demand his unemployment. B, the fans have recognized potential in him, but since they haven’t seen him make the kayfabe transition from having potential to realizing said potential, they see him as someone who has no business walking around as the Honored Champion of the Globe. His lack of push leading up to the win combined with having no charisma or superstar look to speak of reeks of giving him the belt so he will fail and Misawa is left with no choice but to win the belt back and save the day.

Not only has Misawa not bothered to build up any of the rising stars he has had under his power, but he has not even started to build for the future. Unless he’s found the fountain of youth and kept its location secret, guys like Taue and Kobashi (who is pretty much done as champion anyway) are not getting any younger or healthier. Sooner or later, everyone even close to the main event status is going to be hanging the boots up. NOAH has no dojo, and no young heavyweights to build up. As cute as KENTA and Marufuji may be, they will never draw as heavyweight headliners in a 10,000 seat building unless something drastically changes.

Another area of complaint against Misawa’s booking is how much he pushes himself. Yes, he is one of the top workers in the company and the world. Yes, Baba did pass All Japan to him. But Triple H does more clean jobs than Misawa. To be fair, he is an amazing worker, and someone of that caliber should be on top. As one of the top stars, not THE star. There’s nothing wrong with pushing yourself when you’re good and you know it, but there comes a time when you going over again and again is going to hurt business, not help it, no matter how big of a star you are. Take his series with Kawada. If memory serves Misawa is 14-2 against Kawada, give or take a win or two. You can make the argument that Misawa is a better worker than Kawada to justify that record. Triple H made the argument that he was “better” than Rob Van Dam, and used that as a reason not to put him over for the World Title. In a sport where everything is a work, it does not matter who is “better.” Goldberg is, was and forever will be absolutely terrible, but there was a time when he drew a lot of money. Unlike Rikio today, Kawada has always has strong fan support, and would have been able to draw in the 90’s with a strong title reign. As irony would have it, the evil Mutoh Keiji that no one seems like to like anymore is the only booker who has ever been willing to give Kawada a chance to be a real main eventer.

This brings me to something else that has clouded Misawa’s booking. He is as genuinely ethnocentric as people come, and while that is his own prerogative in his private life, it has no place in the wrestling business, especially in a country like Japan where foreigners draw just as well, and sometimes better, than native stars. Take Vader for example. When he initially came in to All Japan he was incredibly over, as one would expect. He was pushed as a monster by New Japan, holds the fastest win over Kami-kisama in history (explanation of pun, although like most bad jokes, if they have to be explained they stop being funny: Inoki is referred to as God in Japan, which is kami-sama in Japanese. In Japanese, kisama is one of the worst insults you can deliver to someone, and sounds somewhat similar to the sama honorific. Additionally, ki can mean tree, or a type of energy that resides inside you, both of which are positive forces. When creating a compound word between two good things you get one really bad thing. It’s like the opposite of double negatives canceling each other out), and was also coming off a run with the WWF, thus making him a megastar to the American trash crowd. Not doing something with him would leave a LOT of money on the table. Some say he is the biggest drawing gaijin in history. He had the TC a few times, so what is the problem?

After dropping the TC for the final time he was, for all intents and purposes, immediately taken out of the main event scene, after being hugely successful, part of which was packing the Tokyo Dome with people who actually bought tickets. He was kept in midcard tag matches with Stan Hansen (who was nearing the end of his career) and when Hansen was injured he was given a run with the tag belts along with Steve Williams.

When Misawa executes his plan to steal AJ’s roster and TV spot, Vader shows loyalty to Misawa and leaves with him. He was, might I add, the only gaijin to do so. Strangely enough, Misawa just happened to put a clause in Vader’s AJ deal that would allow him to leave AJ with no notice at the same time Misawa formed NOAH. Almost as though NOAH seem premeditated until at least when Vader came into AJ, if not earlier. Throughout NOAH’s early tenure Vader continued to be extremely over, and yet no push came. Eventually he was put with Scorpio for a run with the GHC Tag Titles before his time there came to an end. When asked why he was never given a decent push in NOAH, he was told it was because he was not Japanese. Scorpio voices the same reasoning behind his lack of push, despite his skill and overness, although does not say so on the record, for fear of losing his job. Almost every other gaijin that spent any time in AJ or NOAH will tell you the same thing, off the record. When something like this played out of WWE TV between Triple H and Booker T, it was (said by most to be) incredibly distasteful and offensive. When Misawa does it in a shoot, his supporters tell you not to complain about it. From my standpoint, the principle at stake here is either right or wrong all of the time, not right when someone you like does it and wrong when someone you like is a victim of it. For the record, Booker T didn’t go over because he was throwing too many potatoes and injuring people, not because he was black. Triple H was actually willing to put him over.

Another sore spot with some people is Ogawa Yoshinari, who has been not-so-affectionately dubbed Ratboy. Although not being a Goldberg-level worker by any stretch of the imagination, Ogawa does not have the talent that many other AJ and NOAH stars had, and certainly does not have the charisma of the other Ogawa to make up for it. By using that lump two or three feet above your ass for about a half of a second you can come to the conclusion that Ogawa did not receive so many huge pushes with heavyweights, despite being a junior, because he has more talent than everyone else on the roster. Oh no. He just happens to be one of Misawa’s best friends, which means he gets lots and lots of pushes and main event/semi-main event paydays he has no business being anywhere near.

You don’t believe me? Then explain how else Ogawa became GHC Heavyweight Champion. That is certainly not a good business decision, and as ticket sales showed, turned people away from the product. Now, if this is a business decision, what could it possibly be based on? The only thing I can come up with would be that Misawa was trying to shock the crowd into being entertained. That works in a Crash TV setting if not done all of the time and is then used to build something else, but it does not work in the world of puroresu where wrestling is treated as having as much legitimacy as MMA and kickboxing. This is a sport which sometimes happens to be entertaining, not entertainment which sometimes happens to be a sport.

And it’s not like Misawa allows out-of-the-ring activities to only help his friends. Oh no, if you’re on his shit list, you can expect his foot to travel so far up your ass that when he dislodges it he’s going to have shit stains on his shoes. Perfect example: his treatment of the otherwise talented Kawada Toshiaki. They went to high school together, and were friends for a time before a personal issue between the two made them rivals. Both were stars of the high school’s wrestling team, which further escalated the rivalry. When Misawa graduated he entered the AJ dojo, and when Kawada graduated a year (or two, don’t remember the age difference off the top of my head) later, he likewise entered the AJ dojo. For whatever reason, Baba took a personal liking to Misawa, and after acquiring the Tiger Mask gimmick for him started grooming him to take his spot. Some say this caused more anger and jealousy in Kawada, as he did not receive much of a push when he started, and it was a long time before he won his first match. Even after Kawada had proven through his work in the ring that he belonged on top his push never truly reflected that, and personal reasons seem to play a large part of it. What could be more fun than making someone you hate job to you countless times in a row?

Those are most of the major reasons that have publicly documented facts behind them that people dislike Misawa. This is not a comprehensive list of all of the reasons that you must forsake your love for Misawa and begin hating him until Kawada and Nagata become the first MMA Tag Team Champions. These are merely some of the reasons that some people dislike Misawa, and is meant to give some insight into that view for those new to the business who do not share or understand it. For some, knowing that a worker is an ass outside of the ring makes it harder to enjoy his work, which can also increase hostility when speaking about his behavior outside the ring. You see this frequently with discussions of Dusty Rhodes. If you’re making a list of the greatest workers that have ever lived, I’ll be the first tell you that Misawa belongs right at the top of that list. But as a booker, and as a promoter, he is not God, nor is he even a King of Heaven. He is someone who left a lot of money on the table for all of the wrong reasons, and has been able to cover some of it up through his own skill in the ring and riding past momentum. I make no attempt to hide my personal views, although they are based on all of the facts that are publicly (and some not publicly) available. All I ask is that when defending or condemning Misawa, that you do it for the right reasons that have substantive value behind them, and if you can’t dislike him in any way because he is such a great worker, just say so. No one will hate you for it. Trust me.

In recent years New Japan has barely succeeded running large dome shows by relying on big name big money outsiders to pack to the domes and sell tickets that are far more expensive than their spot shows. This formula is no longer working like it did in the past, and if New Japan is going to succeed in the long term they need to build their own stars to the point that they can get respectable houses at domes by themselves. The alternative would be to stop running so many large dome shows, but since that would cause a loss of face for New Japan, that hardly seems like it will happen anytime soon.

While not a long term solution, I offer a crazy idea which just may allow New Japan to squeak out a year or two of moving tickets at dome shows while they continue to “build” the next generation of stars. The man I suggest comes with no small price tag. Indeed, he may have the highest price tag of anyone New Japan will ever bring in, and I argue that with the state NJ is in right now, he is worth every penny. Not only that, but I devised a way for them to not only make this man a big money offer, but offer a business model which will allow them to turn a profit on it in the process. I suggest a superstar with worldwide name value. A proven draw on every continent, sans Antarctica. Hollywood’s hottest commodity since Roddy Piper. Sit down Hulkster, Mr. Nanny flopped like Billy Gunn's main event push. The man I’m talking about runs $10 million per annum/movie. I’m talking about The Rock. And I believe, that at least for 1 year, New Japan can realistically put more money in Rock’s pocket than Hollywood can.

Preposterous you say? Not as much as you may believe. Rock’s contract with the WWE recently expired, and no movement has been made by the WWE to resign him, even though they claim they plan to put him back under a deal. Jeff Jarrett has already approached The Rock about coming back to wrestling and he was receptive to the idea. Furthermore, Vince signed over the rights to use The Rock name over to The Rock free and clear, so all of his name value comes with him. NJ management will also be thrilled with the idea of going back to the classic formula of native vs. big name outsider, which has drawn very well for them in the past.

Remember that Rock left wrestling due to the power of the ultimate motivator – money. He makes about 5 times as much making movies as he did wrestling. It isn’t that he dislikes wrestling, or that he feels he’s too good for the business, it’s just that he’s being paid much better to make movies.

This is where New Japan and their yakuza friends come in. It’s no secret that New Japan has access to Ted Turner levels of money. Following along with me now, New Japan has the fiscal capability to pay Rock as much, if not more, than Hollywood does, and at the same time take less money out of their pockets than it does Hollywood’s. Given that Rock still loves the business, he may even take a pay cut to come back to wrestling. Also keep in mind that New Japan pays income tax to the Japanese government on Rock’s salary, which Rock can then deduct from taxes he has to pay in the US. 35% of Rock’s $10 million go to the US government now, bringing him down to $6.5 million. Japan’s tax rate in the highest bracket is 52%. New Japan could offer him $5.75 million for a year, what would seem on the surface to be a paycut of 42.5%. However, taxes paid in a foreign country count toward your tax burden in the US. And in addition to that $5.75 million, New Japan has paid $2.99 million in taxes to the Japanese government in Rock’s name. For the purpose of his US tax return, he has paid $2.99 million in taxes when he should have paid $2.01 million. When he gets his tax return back the from the US government his net income for the year will be $6.72 million, an increase of $.22 million over what he currently makes in Hollywood. There is no state tax in Florida, leaving only his local tax unaccounted for, which is not going to be a 6 figure bill. This not only brings Rock back to wrestling, but offers him a lighter schedule and more money, before you even get into merchandise and licensing, not to mention picking up CMs (commercials) and other Japanese sponsorship deals. Fiscally, this is a very real possibility.

So that’s all well and good. Rock is now theoretically in NJ’s price range. What does he bring to the table for New Japan to justify $5.75 million? First and foremost, he will draw from a much larger fanbase than anyone else New Japan can bring in. Rock is arguably the best drawing American star in the history of the business. Japan is likewise filled with tons of American trash which will gladly dish out money to see one of their heroes that they can’t even see in the WWE anymore. If these people are willing to dish out $200-$300 to see a really crappy WWE house show, it seems reasonable to assume that at least half of them would buy a $100 moderately cheap seat just to see Rock. WWE gets 16,000 per show, so let’s assume that New Japan runs 5 large dome shows (3 at Tokyo Dome, 2 at the Osaka Dome) in the year they have Rock. That’s 40,000 tickets that would have been comps, at an average of $100 each (which is probably low) meaning that Rock has already generated $4,000,000 in ticket sales for New Japan that would have otherwise been comps or empty seats. If you can sell 1 Rock T-shirt for every 5 tickets Rock sells (again, probably a low estimate, and assuming that no one else would be interested in Rock merchandise) at the average price of about $40 you have another $320,000 in revenue. Just from T-shirts, just at 5 shows. This does bring the possibility of these fans cheering The Rock over the native star you’re trying to put over, however as long they’re buying tickets and merchandise it doesn’t really matter who they cheer for. And while they’re buying tickets to see The Rock, by making sure the rest of the card is packed with quality puro action you can sell this new captive audience on your base product while they’re there to see Rock. This way, when Rock leaves the new fans don’t leave with him.

The Pay-Per-View audience is relatively small in Japan, so even if Rock did have a huge impact on their buyrates it wouldn’t result in that much more income for the company. However, since you’re paying Rock enough to keep him around all year long you will get plenty of footage to use on your TV show. Considering the high ratings WWE gets, if they could again get half of the WWE’s audience to watch their TV show when Rock is on it will bring their ratings over 5% on a consistent basis, and give them a better position to negotiate with the network when their TV deal expires. And considering what they did last year in Osaka, patching things up with the network is a good idea.

Rock understands that the business is about the boys. While he has expanded into movies he comes from a wrestling family and he understands the need to give back to the business. Unlike many of today’s stars on top, Rock understands that he was made because people were willing to lay down for him and he respects his need to lay down for the next generation of stars. Assuming New Japan runs 5 dome shows in the year they could build up Rock by feeding him freelancers like Kawada and Takayama(once he comes back) to establish that he belongs with Japan’s top stars, and also doesn’t hurt anyone NJ needs to build around. On the other dome shows they run he can lay down clean for Tenzan and Nagata, which will reestablish the fact that they belong on top. He could then pick up some high profile wins on the next tour, earn a shot at and win the IWGP Title at a tour ending Ryogoku show and be used as a transitional champion to put Nakamura over for the title at the last dome show they run that year. You can’t put a price tag on making stars, and the way New Japan is heading, those 3 jobs are a steal at any price.

New Japan has made noise about wanting to expand into the US before, and Rock will be a vehicle to make that expansion possible. The first thing American networks and PPV providers ask when trying to get clearance is do you have former WWE stars. Right now, New Japan has Jamie Noble under a different name. And some guys who made a few appearances for WCW in 97. And Liger who got the tequila bottle in 99. That isn’t going to cut it. But if you can say something like “Um, well…not unless you count THE ROCK” that is a completely different story. Rock is the strongest drawing PPV headliner in the history of the business. If you have The Rock, you can dictate when your show airs on PPV to every major PPV distributor, and get a WWE-sized chunk on the pie. Despite wrestling not drawing as well as it did from 98-2000, PPV companies know that wrestling PPVs generate lots and lots of income, and with The Rock on the bill, they will be begging to promote the show for free. Not only does the American PPV make money for New Japan, but it will allow Inoki or Chono or someone else in the office to promote themselves as heroes to the media for successfully promoting something in America on a large scale, which will be huge for their local PR. Considering that WEW gets 30,000 buys, The Rock should be able to generate at least 50,000 by himself, not counting the fact that the entire American puro crowd will have to buy the PPV to ensure that puro comes to the US. Assuming the PPV sells for $30, NJ gets 45%, which is $675,000 per PPV at 50,000 buys. Continuing the one year framework, they would probably run PPVs bimonthly. The six shows used would likely be the 5 dome shows and the Ryogoku show Rock wins the belt on. That’s $4.05 million in PPV revenue. I’m sure the yakuza can use some kind of trickery to bring that money back into the country tax free. Considering how terribly PRIDE’s PPVs do in the states, this will also give them more ammunition to use to elevate themselves over the top MMA company in the world, and give them more of a right to call themselves the King of Sports.

This does not consider DVD sales of the events either. ROH has shown that the DVD market is quite lucrative, and with The Rock as a headliner you will see New Japan DVDs in every major retail store across the country. New Japan could also use The Rock to cut off any potential HUSTLE inroads to the United States, especially if they make distributors choose between The Rock and the unproven HUSTLE brand. This only adds more fuel to the fire of proving to the Japanese public that they are the number 1 company in combat sports both at home and worldwide, and brings in some money too.

Counting the tax money New Japan will pay on The Rocks’ behalf, New Japan will be pay out a total of $8.74 million. The revenue he will generate, which are low estimates that also assume he has zero drawing power among the current puroresu audience and non-WWE audience, brings $.32 million in T-shirts, $4 million in ticket sales and $4.05 million in US PPV revenue, for a total of $8.37 million. Not counting additional potential revenue from non-WWE fan ticket sales, increase of ticket sales at non-dome events, merchandising revenue outside a small minority of WWE fans(who will likely buy much more than I estimated anyway) and New Japan’s ability to license The Rock for action figures, video games, etc. it will only amount to a net cost of $370,000 to have Rock put over 3 stars who desperately need putting over at major shows (an average of only $123,333 per high profile job). Any potential overestimation in the American PPV buyrate will be offset by the gross underestimation of increased domestic income. Having divided up the costs that way, the increase of NJ’s leverage with television companies, opening of very serious possibilities of running shows in the United States and other countries they can get Rock’s PPVs aired in, gaining tons of credibility at home and humiliating DSE in the process are all free. Someone get me Inoki’s checkbook.

I'm cooking yen, and the office needs to smell it. I just hope someone with stroke still remembers the aroma.

Come one, come all. I bid thee welcome to the single greatest blog on the net. That being mine. As a wrestler and MMA fighter, I know a thing or two about the wrestling business, and since I write enough about it elsewhere I figured I might as well do the cool thing and get my own blog. I actually wrote an entry about the Osaka Dome debacle awhile ago that disappeared for no reason, and killed my will to keep writing. Many months later, I’m invigorated and back on the scene, leading to this, the second first entry. For those of you already familiar with Florekianism, this blog will deliver in true Florekian fashion, with more love, truth, youth, justice, courage, sarcasm and sardonic goodness than you can count on both hands. For those who asked, I promise to write that book someday. Fear not, those not familiar will still be able to follow along without any problems. While I may at times rant about something not directly related to puroresu, puro and sometimes MMA will be the focus here. And as a special treat, I promise to outblog than the entire PPH staff! Dr. Keith, Mike Sempervive and ZACH got nothing on me.

Speaking of the PPH, if you’re not a regular listener, you should be. Head over to puroresupower.com, download the latest shows and buy stuff from their sponsors.

Those of you in the puro world who do not live under a rock know that Kojima Satoshi recently became the first man in the history of the business to hold the Triple Crown and the IWGP Heavyweight Title at the same time. But now that the reality has sunk in, the true question is where do we go from here.

The first major problem is that Kojima has been given the proverbial creative assraping over the past 3 years. It started with Tenryu refusing to put him over for the Triple Crown in 02. He lost steam, started building momentum up again, got squashed by Golderg and has been up and down ever since. Being MLW Champion was fun for us, but did absolutely nothing for him in Japan. Like Chris Jericho, he is a superstar without a company that cares.

The fact of the matter is the Koji is damaged goods at this point. Yes, he ended Kawada’s long title reign and Kawada has recognized him as the new ace of All Japan. Yes, he beat Tenzan to win the IWGP Title, but in all honesty, who hasn’t beaten Tenzan in the last 2 years? That’s a short list. Will Kojima finally be recognized as being in the top tier where he belongs or will The Curse of TenKoji live on?

At this point, we haven’t heard anything about his first defense of the Triple Crown. Considering that Mutoh has complete control over that, and desperately needs to get Kojima over, for the moment we should assume he isn’t going to screw that up. He has learned a lot about promoting and booking over the last 3 years.

However, Mutoh and Kojima have little, if any, control as to what happens to the IWGP Title. When considering how that belt was treated by New Japan in 2004, that is worrying to say the least. We shouldn’t have to worry about Kojima losing a shootfight anytime soon, making one less thing New Japan can screw up. It hasn’t exactly been a great 2005 so far for the belt so far though. In fact, Kojima winning the title on 2/20 was the first IWGP Title match of the year. Leading up to it Tenzan was injured and made to look weak by the press, promised to retire if Kojima beat him and has already rescinded on that promise. Now I know retirements in wrestling don’t last, but he could have humored us a little. This is probably just another case of NJ’s left hand not talking to the right hand.

Unfortunately, Mr. Right and Mr. Left don’t appear to be getting onto the same page anytime soon. The initial announcement was that Kojima was going to hold onto the IWGP Title until the 5/14 Tokyo Dome show, nearly three months without making a defense. In typical New Japan fashion, they change their mind when the advance doesn’t look good and on the 3/26 Ryogoku Kokugikan show. The format is changed from a #1 contender’s tournament into giving one of the tournament’s participants, Nakamura Shinsuke, an immediate shot at the title instead of having to earn it through the tournament, and gives Chono a bye into the finals. Two matches do not a “tournament” make.

In another brilliant move, Nakamura has promised to shave his head and confine himself to opening matches if he doesn’t win the title. If someone beating Kojima is going to mean anything, he has to have a long and strong reign with the IWGP Title. Nakamura, on the other hand, is their top prospect that hasn’t been completely buried, and does not need to be humiliated right now. Assuming that Nakamura intends to keep his word, this is a no win situation for New Japan. Not to mention a potentially large assumption. They may move a few tickets for the Ryogoku show, but if this is going to be Nakamura’s run they are doing it at the cost of the credibility of the IWGP Title and the build they’ve started for the 5/14 Tokyo Dome show, which is far more important than anything at Ryogoku. It’s clear that the plan was to build the Tokyo Dome show around trying to get the IWGP Title back from an outsider. The company’s direction is changing yet again.

As long as Chono and Inoki are at the helm, I am not getting my hopes up for any logical booking out of New Japan. I have also lost all sympathy for anyone still with the company, since Shibata was the only one to leave at the beginning of the year, and even that is largely suspected to be a work. I say let New Japan and anyone still loyal to them be damned, they have lit their own funeral pyre. It is Kojima I feel sorry for. He left New Japan 3 years ago to jump off the sinking ship before he went down with it. Since then, he has barely fared better than Chono’s favorite punching bag. He is now a strong year away from being the superstar he should have become three years ago, and his last chance hangs at the mercy of someone who won’t lay down for one of his best friends. Heroes are said to be ordinary people who do extraordinary things in extraordinary times. I pray that an extraordinary person will be able to do extraordinary things in these baleful times, where the only visible light is the fire burning on Tenzan’s drifting pyre.